Satire Website: Dream Job

I love to travel and I love to make jokes. Both are my lifelong passions and always will be. What has remained elusive in my life has been any sort of steady job or career that I could see myself doing until I retire. I always seem to bounce around from job to job. Call it wanderlust, boredom or maybe a lack of determination but I can't seem to hold a job I really enjoy. Well, that just may change. I came up with a job that on its head is an obvious satire of the disposable culture which we live in. Where we can have anything we want if we pay for it or, since we are so busy, we can pay someone to do it for us. My idea would be to make a website where I advertise myself to go on vacations for those too busy to take one themselves. They pay for the whole trip: airfare, hotel, transportation, food, etc. In return, I would take photos of the area, send emails, postcards and get trinkets and souvenirs just like the absentee vacationer would. I'd even go so far as to have them send me their clothes and I would wear them on the trip. I'd also make a paper mask to wear when taking photos so it looks like they are actually on the trip. I would also skype with the potential customer and tell them what the trip is like and put myself on a webcam so they can see me in real time in the location of their choice. Sound weird? I would also use the clients name as my own throughout the trip except for when I have to identify myself to government agencies. The person can take an expensive trip or an economical one. I see it more as a niche market where rich people can show off to their friends how they can pay people to take vacations for them and they can show off the pictures of 'themselves' all over. Now, if you think it's all fun and games, it's not. I'd also spend time on the trip doing volunteer work with local charities, giving back to the communities. How does that sound? I would make it fun and unique to each person. It's definitely a trip people would never forget. Even if it was a trip they never actually took.

Infomercial Parody: Water Notifier

Perhaps it's all the time spent staying up late that has me watching inane infomercials or the fact that they are inescapable in the daytime too. Whatever it is, they all seem to look and sound the same. First it's in black and white with someone struggling to do the most simplest of tasks, like opening up a jar or changing a light bulb. Then a serious voiceover comes in and says, "Has this ever happened to you? Well not anymore, thanks to the revolutionary (fill in the blank product)! It then turns into this colorful commercial with music and flashy edits and suddenly all the people are happy. Well, I had this idea and it's such a dumb product but I could actually see people buying it. The product is a round plastic disk that fits over a standard water glass. On one side is a big cartoon drop of water and on the other side is the same big graphic of a drop of water, this time in a red circle with a line thru it. It is a plastic disk that you take out to restaurants to let the waiter know if you want more water or not. I don't know about you, but I hate having to keep telling the waiter to bring me more water, or when I'm full, to not give me more water! It's silly right? But just picture the infomercial, a woman out to a fancy dinner and she drinks up all of her water so fast and now to wait for the waiter to come around and uh oh, what if he doesn't notice she needs more water? All of that would be a thing of the past with the Water Notifier (WN)! She simply puts the WN over the rim of the water glass with the large water drop showing and presto, the waiter knows she wants more water. She can also flip it over when she is done with the water so the waiter doesn't have to interrupt the table conversation to ask if they want more water. He'll already know thanks to the Water Notifier! Since most of these commercials try to sell multiple kinds of the same thing, you could have other notifiers for other liquids. Coffee! Juice!! Tea!!! The possibilities are endless!!!! Okay, I'm gonna work on the parody commercial with a buddy of mine who has a camera. Stay tuned!